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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?